EZER KENEGDO

Pursue.
What do you think about when you see this word?
A group of girl friends of mine responded with:
• What you desire to be.
• Chase after something you desire.
• Go forth.
• What a guy should do when he likes a girl.
• Cop chase.
• To be chased down.
• Seek after something/someone.

The words that stand out the most? CHASE. GO. SEEK. DESIRE.

The word pursue is such a profound word in our culture.  We are culturally programmed to think about the word romance to be between a man and a woman, but have we ever stopped to think about it referencing our relationship with Jesus? The bible tells us in John 4 how God wants to romance us.  This chapter in the bible tells about a woman, who was imperfect and flawed, asks Jesus for the water that will cause her to thirst no more. Our culture puts so much emphasis on pursuing SATISFACTION and IDEAS, but when we think about it - we should be focusing on allowing God to pursue our hearts over earthly satisfaction and ideas.

Sometimes it's easy to see someone we admire. When we like the way another woman dresses, or the career someone has, or even the family another woman has established, we have to be careful with what we are pursuing. We should not pursue to be that other person, but rather build on the qualities we admire and make them our own. Do not pursue her career because she is successful in it, rather aim to be a hard worker as she is and your career will blossom the way it should for you. Do not pursue a family with exactly three kids and a six-foot husband because someone you admire has that, rather aim to be the best wife and mother God has called you to be (if in fact he has called you to be a wife and mother).  We do not want our pursuit to lead to being bound up because our priorities are skewed.

What is so alluring about a relationship that makes it so desirable anyways? We were created for relationships. We, as humans, were ultimately created for His delight and enjoyment. Have you ever stopped to think about why we, as women, were created? I saw something on facebook a few weeks ago that said: I, as a woman, was created to do what man couldn't. I think I snickered and kept on scrolling, but WOW that person is so right! We weren't made to be all that a man is, we were created to be and do what men aren't able to do. There are obvious differences between man and woman. Men are often seen as having strength, power, security and protection. Women are often seen for their tenderness, compassion, nurturing, serving, and inner and outer beauty. Now, that's not to say a woman can't be physically strong or a man isn't compassionate, it's simply saying men's strengths are often different that women's.  There are things from God's very essence that can't be given by man and without one or the other, the world would be missing 50% of HIS beauty.

Ever think about this?
EVE IS BREATHTAKING.
EVE IS THE CROWN OF CREATION.

Man was created to glorify God, woman was created to glorify God with man. Woman was created to help man meet life's demands.

Genesis 2:18 talks about EZER KENEGDO, which is God's word to woman. It kind of takes you aback the first time you think about God writing "She was to be his helper...". OUCH! I was created to be someone's helper? I think I initially missed the point. God uses this verse to help us realize when we desperately need Him to help us and we are to mirror God, so in that case ... YES! SIGN ME UP! LET ME HELP YOU!

We, as women, should be so humbled by the fact that God allowed us to carry beauty in the world! Our beauty is determined by our joy and our passions. We, as women, desire 3 things.
     <1> Romance - we long to be pursued!
     <2> Beauty - We want someone to find us captivating
     <3> to play an irreplaceable role in a great adventure to be shared

We need to keep in mind that we can't depict God's heart without a man or without a woman. What men have to offer and what women have to offer may be different, but it's what makes up God's heart.

So back to the relationship thing. Eve and Adam were created to have a relationship with each other and with God. Guess what? God was jealous of Adam and Eve. He was not jealous of their relationship, or their fancy garden, or their fancy fig leaf clothing. He was jealous of their hearts. Waaaaaaaaiiiiiiiitttttttt a minute! The Bible tells us in many verses not to be jealous! (Song of Solomon 8:6, 1 Corinthians 13:4, Philippians 2:3, James 3:14-15, Psalm 37:1-3, James 3:16, Proverbs 14:30)

God's jealousy over Adam and Eve's hearts, and over our hearts, is because our hearts are rightfully His! Righteous jealousy is when something that is rightfully yours is taken from you. Unrighteous jealousy is when something is not rightfully ours, yet we want it anyway.

Psalm 139:18 says, "Were I count to them, they would outnumber the grains of sand; when I awake I am still with you".

God loves us more than each grain of sand. WOW! That's a lot. God gives us a fountain springing up into everlasting life - it's interactive in our lives, not just a one-time-thing. Oftentimes it's easy to think about how if God really and truly loved me, then why do I encounter rough times? Just remember, when worldly things get in the way of whole heartedly pursuing God, He finds a way to snatch our hearts back. We are all pursuing something all day, every day. The Bible is full of God pursuing us!

We (as women) have a purpose (as a gender). We were made for relationships, not just marriage/dating relationships, but friendships too. My challenge to you is this: Step out of your comfort zone and purposefully be approachable and inviting with our body language. In order to really pursue somebody, we really should think through scenarios and know that the Holy Spirit gives a lot of grace. I challenge you to pray with a listening heart that God may use you to serve, to nurture, or to shine His beauty through you. I challenge you for the next week, that every time you get in the car alone, to put everything aside and pray ... a 5 minute prayer, an hour prayer. Pray for God's will to be done through you. Pray for God's beauty to shine through you. Pray that God will use you to better His kingdom through relationships.

Remember, you're an Eve. You're breathtaking. You're God's very own creation. Without beauty the world would be .... DULL. They can thank us (really they should thank God) later.

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Want want want .....

Why is it that we always want MORE?  It's come to my attention lately that most of us aren't satisfied with what we've got and we focus on what we want more and more. Single ladies can't wait to find someone to date, then they WANT to be married, then they WANT to have kids, then they WANT this and that and as soon as one want becomes a reality, we want something else.

WHY!?

Psalm 23 plainly says, "The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want..."



Someone once explained to me why a shepherd carries a staff (the one with the hook) and a rod (the one without a hook). When other animals would pose a threat to the sheep, the rod was used to defend them and when the sheep wandered off, the staff was to pull them back in. Our heavenly father is our shepherd. ("The Lord is my shepherd...") He guides me, directs me, steers me towards heaven.  When I wander, He uses His staff to bring me back. And when the enemy is after me, He uses His rod to defend me. So if God's word, his promises to us, his children, says that our shepherd will take care of us and that we shall not want, then why in the world do we desire what we don't [yet] have?

We learn in kindergarten the difference between wants and needs. Some examples: I want a house -vs- I need a roof over my head // I want a brand new car -vs- I need reliable transportation to work // I want this new shirt -vs- I need to do laundry instead of buying new clothes.  I [embarrassingly enough] have a pinterest board named *need this in my life*.  The board has everything from custom cornhole boards, to shoes, to house decor, to chocolate chip cookie dough stuffed oreos ... and, to be honest, I do not have a single one of those things. Why do I not have any of the things on my *need this* board? Because I don't really NEED it. I want the new shoes, I have what I need -- too many shoes! I want the grey paint and picture frame arrangements, I have what I need -- a comfy roof over my head with pictures and coffee decor galore. I want the chocolate chip cookie dough stuffed oreos  and the pumpkin white hot chocolate, but I have more than I need -- a fridge and pantry with plenty.  Philippians 4:19 says, "And my God will supply every need of yours according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus". Meaning our God, our shepherd, our father will take care of every need that he sees as a true need. Wanting more could even be seen as not trusting our provider.

At church this past weekend, the pastor mentioned something that has been hard for me to stop thinking about. Many have the belief that they don't understand why God would allow us to go through turmoil. Well the first book in the Bible tells us that God handed over his creation to man Gen 1:28-30  God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground." Then God said, "I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it.  They will be yours for food. And to all the beasts of the earth and all the birds in the sky and all the creatures that move along the ground -- everything that that has the breath of life in it -- I give every green plant for food." And it was so. 

When you keep reading, you realize that after God handed off "the whole earth" to man, man passed it off as well. Genesis 3 shows how man handed off his reigns to the serpent.  So to answer the question of why God let's bad things happen or why he allows storms to be in our lives, the answer is: He doesn't. He gave us the opportunity to take care of his beautiful creation and we decided to WANT something that was not meant for us and give up our rights to a sneaky life-sucking serpent. So God sent His son to live in the world and die a worldly death followed by a heavenly resurrection only so that we may be forgiven for our inevitable failures. But He didn't stop there! He promises that if we remain close to Him and lean on His understanding and trust Him, that He will carry us through any storm the devil tries to throw at us. And when we allow the storm to flood our lives, we are already forgiven and given another chance.

A friend and I were talking about this earlier and she said to me, "I don't believe anything is coincidence anymore. It is either of the Lord or of the Devil and I need to strengthen my defense to be able to differentiate between the two."  If you have not seen War Room yet, GO SEE IT. And then go see it again. And again and again and again. And if you have the opportunity to read the book on Fervent Prayer, do it. The movie and book both mention that we are in battle against our evil enemy who wants nothing more than to keep us away from our God. We should go to war against our enemy in prayer, in fervent prayer.

Our shepherd promised to take care of our needs even when we allow wants to cause storms in our lives. The only thing we should be WANTING is to be closer to God ... and when you think about it, that's really what we NEED.

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change

When you see the word "CHANGE" what is the first thing you think of?




Some may think of the jingling sound in their pocket with different types of coins! My mom always told me never to think less of a penny, because pennies lead to nickels, nickels lead to dimes, dimes lead to quarters, and quarters to dollars.

Others may think of "change" immediately with Mahatma Gandhi's quote "Be the change you want to see in the world" or by the timeless Churchill song, Change.

Time changes things. Life changes things. People change too. I like to explain change best with the illustration of an apple. Some are red, some are yellow, some are green. Time makes apples not yet ripe and unable to give off their best flavor. Time also makes apples rotten when they've been left out too long. The one thing that remains constant? The core. The core of the apple is what the apple is all about. No matter what time, life, and people do to contribute to the wear and tear of the apple, the core remains the same. The core has more to give. We can take note from apples because our interests change over time. our style may change over time, but who we are -- deep down to the core -- doesn't.

In high school, I loved lifeguarding because it basically paid me to be tan. Now, I enjoy going to the pool to play with my niece, but it's usually too hot for me to want to even try to stay and get tanned.  Growing up, skirts and dresses were my favorite until I got to my "adolescent" stage and wanted to wear jeans just like everyone else. Now that I rule my own little world, skirts and dresses daily for me please!  I've lost people I loved, I've been sucked into poisonous relationships, I've been rejected -- and each of these hard things made me that much stronger. Even though my style has changed over the years and my interests shifted from "hardcore athlete" to "teacher leader", I'm completely okay with that.  Just because my interests have changed over the years, that doesn't change the fact that if a friend was in need, I wouldn't hesitate to drop everything I was doing to go help them out. Another change in my life is who I choose to surround myself with. By constantly keeping people close to me who are running after the Lord and choose to share their joys and their trials and are just genuinely good people DOWN TO THE CORE, I have found myself in constant "good spirits".

Life experiences have taught me to be more guarded. Time is teaching me to be more confident. When I feel like "just a penny", I know I'm just a small part of God's big masterpiece. And ..... people. People are teaching me to believe in myself more because when I don't, it seems as if there is a "please walk all over me" sign tacked to my forehead. People are shaping and molding me into the person I am becoming. Churchill says it best: "you got nothing to lose, so change change change".

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The light at the end of the tunnel

It always seems to me as if things tend to get easier when I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.  When I am unable to see the end nearby, things tend to be tougher. John 8:12 says: When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life." Holllllddddddd on! Jesus is the light of the world.... He's the light at the end of every one of our tunnels.  Why do we have to go through dark tunnels to get to the light though? A tunnel is simply defined as a passageway surrounded by walls that have an entrance and an exit. They aren't meant to be forever long walkways, they are meant to go from one place to another with JESUS AS THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL! Sometimes our tunnels have names like, "lesson" or "reason" or "season". Tunnels bring us from one place to another and it's scary to travel these tunnels alone and in the dark, but that's why Jesus walks alongside us and even a little in front of us guiding the way. Don't try to walk this life alone, we're not meant to (tenth avenue north says its best with their song No Man Is An Island; we're not meant to live this life alone). Sometimes it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel because we cloud our vision with things like work, money, and other "things" ... And when we have cloudy vision, it's hard to see the light at the end. I challenge you to really find out what is clouding your vision while walking through whatever tunnel you are in right now. One thing I know I need to work on is to stop trying to be who I think people want me to be. I really need to take pride in enjoying the things I enjoy and wearing the clothes I like to wear and drinking my coffee the way I like to drink it. Too often I want to be like someone else I look up to and adore, but my goal shouldn't be to be like them, it should be to be the type of person that other people look at and say, "I want that". If I don't wear a necklace every single day, but dwell on the fact that I wish I was the girl whose outfit looked cuter because she did wear one, I'm missing out on someone else thinking they wish they could pull off simplicity. If I choose prefer to listen to silence in the car when a friend is riding with me for fear that my Christian music is going to offend them, I'm missing out on the opportunity to witness to them. If I choose to not go dancing because I don't want to be the worst one there, then I'm missing out on a great night full of fun. I need to suck up my selfishness and ditch my cloudy view of the tunnel itself and put my eyes on the light at the end of the tunnel because "God won't bring you to it if He won't bring you through it!"

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A letter from God

When my human mind tries to think about what a letter from God addressed to me might look like, I'm defeated. 1 Timothy begins with, "To Timothy, my true child in the faith..." WOW! I'm pretty sure I read this same verse about 20 times in awe! "My true child in the faith..." That's powerful! Then my [human] mind begins to think about what the letter addressed to me might look like. "To Denise, my worry wort. Have I not told you to not be anxious?" Nah, I highly doubt God almighty would use the term "worry wort", but that would be a viable letter. Maybe Matthew 8:26 is a letter addressed to us all? "You of little faith, why are you so afraid?" If faith is believing in something we cannot see (thanks Super Kid Academy ...definitely taking you back to my childhood), it appears more times than not that it's easy to have FAITH when things are going great. It's the trying times that we need faith the most, but it's the trying times when it's the hardest to remain faithful.  Matthew 17:20 says,  "Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." A mustard seed! A tiny bit of faith will move mountains, yet we drop that seed sometimes and don't even bother to try to pick it up. We defeat ourselves. What mountains are in your way? Is it a job you hate, or a job you love too much? Is it an unhealthy relationship? Is it finances? Is it simply too much on your plate? Personally, I thrive when I'm busy. Working three jobs, getting home late, waking up early just to do it all over again, I consider that successful. Until stress hits me...hard. My back hurts, I have ulcers in my mouth so bad I can hardly eat, migraines every single day ... and then it's not success anymore. I'm not saying being lazy is a good thing, I'm not saying staying busy out of your mind is a good thing ... I'm saying my goal is to find that balance. The balance of working my hardest to be a successful teacher and building lifetime relationships instead of working 3 jobs and getting home in enough time to maybe eat dinner, shower, and go to bed ... all to wake up and do it again. It's a mind-shift. I'm shifting gears from what God made most important in my life for a season and building off of what He put in my life for a reason. Kutless' song That's What Faith Can Do says:  "Life is so much more than what your eyes are seeing; You will find a way if you keep believing..." IF WE KEEP BELIEVING! Have faith and believe that God's got a plan for your life. He may throw obstacles in your way just to test your faith. Sometimes we wait a week for things to turn around and sometimes we wait ten years for perfect timing to be revealed. Whatever the "time" you wait is, actively wait in prayer and in the word because you are a child of God and what father wants anything more than success for His children?

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my prayer is this ...

My prayer is this: God I thank you for safety, for love, and for guidance. I ask that you continue to remind us that "gut feelings" are really "God feelings" and that tough decisions are really a test of our trust and faith. I pray that we not only pray to ask, but that we listen with ears of faith. God I thank you for sending your son to die on the cross to save an undeserving child like me. I ask that I see others through eyes of grace and that I continue to lean on you. I pray that your will be done, even when the choices and decisions don't make sense to me. I know that you have a plan and I am a part of that plan, on your time, not mine. God I thank you for loving me and for allowing people to be in my life to love and to show love and I pray that our hearts stay so close to you that we grow closer to each other. I love you and I thank you and I ask for guidance, patience, and gratitude. Amen

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"that kid"

To my teacher friends, 

Take a minute and think about "that kid". You know, the one who grinds your gears because he refuses to try. What about the boy who is defiant and thinks it's funny? How about the girl who is just (for a lack of better words) plain mean? Yeah, "that kid" (let's be real ... this is a plural thing -- KIDS) These are the tiny humans that make me want to cry during the day and the voices I hear as I'm restless and trying to go to sleep each night. Describe them in one word -- no adjectives please! Describe them in one NOUN. Girl would be one. Boy could be another. Person is a definite. Human is a good one. And what do humans have? Feelings? Wants? Needs? Oftentimes, when our wants/needs aren't being met, our feelings are portrayed the only way we know how. What about the parent that honestly scares you with their not-so-timid personality? I'll be honest and let you know I've found myself taking my "your parent hurt my feelings" out on a student/a part of my family/a human being. People are also notorious for making mistakes, so when I was conscious of the fact I was getting irritated with the child for something beyond their control, my attitude changed. I started intentionally calling on him for positive things and soon the other children in the class saw him in a different light and then he began to bloom. I'm struggling though. Defiance gets to me like no other! I'm so frustrated ... because I care! I guess I should be more worried if it didn't effect me at all.

My first go-to when I'm feeling frustrated is "patience". While patience is good, and very much needed, there's got to be something more. Galatians 6:9 says, "And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up."  Basically, as hard as it is to point out the good in the most frustrating moments, who's to say they won't eventually get it? Get what? The seed you are planting, that's what. You know what's really humbling? Apologizing to a five-year-old. Sitting on my knees, I sat eye to eye with a defiant little human, who also has feelings. It's my responsibility to show God's love and ask for his guidance (and yes, patience) in trialing times. It's also my responsibility to thank God for the good times.  And when you think about it, those hard times make the great times so much sweeter.

You were chosen.  You were chosen by God almighty to love on little people. They will get the academic stuff (or they won't), but they'll really get how you make them feel (good and bad). I challenge you to pray over "those kids" and I challenge you to make them feel good before they go home. A simple "bye, love you, see you tomorrow" as they're stepping on the bus. A comment about their really cool shirt (because sometimes compliments are a stretch if we're being real). A high five for the 5 seconds they were on task. We can't begin to put ourselves in their shoes for many reasons, but we can choose to either leave the laces untied, or tie them neatly for the .5 seconds until they're falling down again. I challenge you to see the good in every hard situation and I challenge you to really rely on God for the strength we need when we are weary.

Chris Tomlin's song, Everlasting God, says: You're the defender of the weak, You comfort those in need, You lift us up on wings like eagles.... because You do not grow weak or weary ... BECAUSE HE DOES NOT GROW WEAK OR WEARY ... because we are teachers, we are conquerors, we are children of God, we are human, and we do grow weak and weary because we care. Fully rely on our God above, because He's strong.


Sincerely,
your teacher friend in Christ who's feeling the end of the year struggles

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Beauty is in the eye of the beholder ...

other than hanging from a tree in Atlanta and white water rafting in West Virginia ... all of the other pictures were taken in the beautiful state of North Carolina! (and I am mildly obsessed with the NC "home." decals right now)

     If you weren't hiding under the "patience is a virtue" rock, hopefully you aren't hiding under the "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" rock either... BUT if you are, go ahead and come on out!  Anything that has to do with the outdoors or with nature is a pretty sure way straight to my heart. One of my other weaknesses? Something different, or special. Every sunset is beautiful in it's own way because each one is different.  I grew up with my father's love for the outdoors. From fishing, camping, and hiking at the beaches or in the mountains of North Carolina, to white water rafting in West Virginia or lake trips to the mountains of Virginia, my dad was the one who spoiled me with showing me God's unique masterpieces in nature. My mom still tells me to this day that when I was little, I refused to wear dresses that did not allow me to climb trees. I've always loved the very special sounds, smells, and feels that add to the beautiful sights for as long as I can remember. Special, different, and unique makes something beautiful to me.
     For the longest time, my dream was to be a special education teacher. My heart will always have a special place for those who are what we would call "different" or "special".  Now that I look at it, I have 20 very different from each other kiddos in my regular education classroom. Each of my students has their own special needs. Whether their need is for a daily hug or they need me to make sure they get extra sight word practice, each of my babes have their own unique, special, and different needs -- and for that I am grateful.  While my kiddos have my heart, there will always be a special place for those whose every need is "special".
     I had the opportunity to work on an 89 acre farm where the first of several group homes for adults with disabilities is located. Oh. My. Gosh. While many people close their eyes and see the Bahamas or some other far away land, this is my happy place. I felt the warm air blowing the dirt into my face, I smelled the wonderful scent of manure-compost mixed topsoil, I saw land that stretched on and on and on, and I heard laughter and singing from people who didn't think twice about what others thought, they were having fun -- and this, this is my happy place. Every Saturday morning, people have the opportunity to volunteer on this self-sustained farm, and afterwards they share a potluck lunch. While the first couple of hours of my day was spent shoveling dirt into a wheelbarrow and dumping the wheelbarrow into raised flowerbeds, I was thankful that God had created such a beautiful process (the growing process that is). My second hour and a half included evening out gravel on the side of the driveway so that when it rains, people can still park and it not be muddy. And for this I was thankful for strong men who did the shoveling of gravel into the wheelbarrows so that I could spend time spreading it all out. One of my absolute favorite parts of the day was the fact that everyone voluntarily gave their time to come out and enjoy God's beautiful work AND everyone came with the knowledge that "special needs" just means "different needs". No one was critical, no one laughed AT each other, no one made fun or got frustrated ... everyone looked out for each other, and that--to me--is beautiful.

Colossians 1:16 says, "For by Him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities -- all things were created through Him and for Him."

"...all things were created through him and for him."

     God didn't create these beautiful things for him to look at and admire his own handy-work. Nor did He create them for us to admire selfishly. He created earth and everything on it with His very hands so beautifully and precisely so that He could share it with us. He gave me the ability to move dirt to a wheelbarrow and into a garden. He gave me the physical strength to level out gravel.  He gave me a heart that loves Him first and foremost and that holds a special place for special people. He gave me the desire to spend time admiring the sight, smells, sounds, and feels of nature. All things were created through and by God himself and for Him ... and I am very thankful He shares with us His masterpiece.

     What do you see beauty in? In picking strawberries? In tubing behind a boat on the lake? In white water rafting on a river in West Virginia? In hanging upside down from a tree in the zoo of Atlanta? In loving your family on the beach? In standing at the top of a mountain after a 3 mile hike upwards? In working for hours on a farm with the most carefree people in the world? I challenge you to find where you see beauty and thank God for it. I also challenge you to soak in as much of it as you can!

 

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Patience is a virtue

If you haven't heard the saying, "Patience is a virtue", please come out from under the rock you've been hiding under. If we replace "virtue" with synonyms, we might have phrases like: Patience is ethical. Patience is moral. Patience is righteous. Patience is worthy. Patience is respectable. Patience is honor. Patience is simply ... good. So why is it easy to have patience with certain things and harder with others? I had a friend recently say, "Why can't we be content where Jesus has us right now? I hate that we do that!", and how true are her words? (too true.)  Our conversation led to talking about dreams and goals and wants and desires and she ended up saying something that really resonated with me: "There's a fine line between dreams He puts there and becoming unsatisfied with where we are." So I did what I should have been more consistent about doing and I picked up my Promise Book and the first page I turned to said: WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU NEED ... PATIENCE. And then I just knew God must've been with His palm on His forehead, because He has promised me the exact thing I am struggling with.

I need the most patience when I want something. Things I need, God never fails to deliver ... but things I want are a different story. Garth Brooks sings it best when he says "some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers" because more times than not, I am thanking God for knowing the difference between what I needed and what I wanted. And it always seems to me that the more I want something, the more patience I need, but I must be actively waiting. [insert some sort of transition here ... maybe a pick up line because they're my favorite? Okay, here goes ... You put the "stud" in Bible study. Yep, that just happened. On we go ......]

I love to write, thus I love taking notes. (mind you, most of my notes are pictures and bubble letters, but a visual learner has to do whatcha gotta do!) Anywho, the young adults group at church did a series this past summer where "actively waiting" was one of the biggest things that grasped a hold of me. Just a little background knowledge, I date all of my notes and I underline and date the scripture in the Bible that my notes refer to. So when I look at the notes from August 7th, 2014 and see we were talking about Psalm 37:4, and then I look in my Bible at Psalm 37, I see the 8/7/14 date along with a 2/9/14 date. So now I look in my notes at February 9th, 2014 and compare the August notes to the February notes and then the cycle just goes on and on and on. Well, that being said ... at the top of the page of my 8/7/14 notes, highlighted and in capital letters I wrote WAITING IS ESSENTIAL and bulleted 3 main points I would like to share with you because I feel like this is what I needed to re-read while facing my battle with patience.

(1)Waiting on God is an active thing! When we settle, we miss God's best for us.

(2)Waiting on God is a sign that He loves us very much! This is the time we should be asking ourselves, "What does God want to grow in me while I am waiting?"

(3)We are not waiting alone! Waiting builds our faith. 

When I look at Psalm 37 and see the date 2/9/14, the notes for February 9th say: "God created you needy on purpose."  As humans, we automatically want to be defensive and say that we are not needy, but in all reality our heart is the biggest need of our life (also in my notes!). We want unconditional love, to be valued, happiness, freedom, purpose, and hope. God created us with all of these needs so that they could be met. Now I didn't say God created us with all of these needs so that they could be met on our time... I said that He created us with wants and needs and desires and goals and dreams so that when His timing is right and when our desires line up with His plan for our lives, our needs will be met. I struggle with patience not because I want something, but because I want something instantly. Patience takes time, and with time all things are better. I can cook instant mashed potatoes in a solid 90 seconds flat, and they are alright, but if I take my time and mash real potatoes and go through all 50 million steps, my potatoes won't be just alright, they will be FREAKING AWESOME! Why should we want an "alright" life when we have been promised a FREAKING AWESOME life? God will give us what we want and what we need when our wants/needs fall into His grandeur plan for our FREAKING AWESOME lives. (apparently He's not a huge fan on instant potatoes when He knows the real deal is so much better)

I am praying for patience. I am praying for guidance. I am praying for God's will to be done in my life. I have been challenged to do this, and I'm passing the challenge onto you. I challenge us to look in Bible when we want something and find where God promised it to us. If it's not in His word, then maybe that's not part of His plan, but if it is, then He's already promised it to us and we can speak it into being in His perfect timing through prayer. I challenge you to pray, to be patient, and to listen. I challenge you to take a deep breath, pick the potatoes, and hand them over to the man upstairs to clean them, boil them, mash them, season them, and serve them ... because I promise you as hard as it may be to wait, He's the best chef in town.

If we change the "patience is a virtue" saying around to use synonyms for the word patience, we get: Self-restraint is a virtue. Understanding is a virtue. Calmness is a virtue. You didn't know that when you said that common four word phrase that you were really saying a lot more than four little words, did you? I'll leave you with my absolute favorite pick-up line (because if someone actually used it on me my response would be "Yes, I will marry you") ... I was looking through the book of numbers, and I realized I didn't have yours!

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SPEAK!

I started my first draft of this post on March 1st, but things just didn't seem to be connecting the way I wanted them to. After church this morning. it was clear that I knew what direction God was leading me in to finish this post.



We've all heard the saying, "If you can't say anything nice, then don't say anything at all", and it's GREAT advice. We don't like it when others say hurtful things to us, so we should try and not say hurtful things to others. The other side of this saying is often overlooked though. If we do have something nice to say, we should, in fact, say it! Everyone loves a compliment. If you're anything like me, responding to compliments is actually kind of hard. When people are genuinely appreciative and let you know, that's just an awesome feeling. (And ... it's even in the Bible!)

Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable -- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy -- think about such things.  (Philippians 4:8)

The Bible digs deeper into the Power of Words.

Since we have the same spirit of faith according to what has been written, “I believed, and so I spoke,” we also believe, and so we also speak. (2 Corinthians 4:13)

If we are walking with God and are able to truly hear Him speak, then His words become our words. How many times has God placed it on my heart to go up to a stranger and tell them how beautiful they looked or to tell someone who encouraged me "thank you". It would be so humbling of myself to just act upon that and build someone up through God's love, but more often than not, I am caught quieting that voice and just doing things my way. I've been encouraged by others coming up to me, strangers and friends alike, who tell me that my hair looks good that day (probably on a day I was so frustrated with humidity and curls and just whipped it into a braid), or how they love my writing (when I was just thinking "Does anyone even read this?"), or even when someone says "I believe in you" (especially on the days I question everything I'm working towards). What if the day my unruly hair had me so frustrated and the person God put in my path to encourage me said no? I would have gone the whole day frustrated and with low self-esteem. How many times do I have the opportunity to tell someone their skirt is beautiful? How many times do I have the opportunity to tell someone their laugh is adorable? How many times do I have the opportunity to love on someone through a genuine compliment, but don't obey? Too many times is the answer.

If we have the power through God to speak things into existence, why don't we? I know when someone pays me a compliment, I try to embrace the beauty they see and it becomes a part of who I am. When someone tells me they love my braid, I promise you I'm rocking that braid for the next two weeks. When someone tells me they see my talent in and passion for something, I promise you I'm going at it enthusiastically.  When someone confirms something I've been on the fence about, I take it and run! I need to be more obedient and build others up, even if it seems minute to me! In all reality, it's not actually what I say that's important, it's what God wants them to hear. I'm not the captain, I'm a vessel. I'm a stubborn vessel most of the time, but nonetheless, God doesn't give up on me, and for that I am grateful.

So shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.   Isaiah 55:11

In order for me to love others through God's eyes, I must remember to SPEAK!
S-say it! Just say it! Don't ask why, don't second guess yourself. If it builds someone up, SAY IT!
P-pray! Pray that God will let them hear what He wants them to hear, no matter how bad you stutter through the smallest compliment.
E-eye contact. I am the WORST at making eye contact, especially when I'm in uncomfortable situations. I feel so vulnerable, but I do have to admit, when someone makes eye contact with me, it makes whatever they are saying seem genuine.
A-authentic. Giving true and authentic compliments on something you notice means so much to someone else. It could just be the little boost they needed before giving up!
K- Kindness goes a long way. If you're thinking about criticizing someone's every move, that's not at all what I was aiming for. If a kind thought is placed on your heart, that's where the money is. Kill 'em with kindness? Sure. But we should lift 'em up with kindness too!!

Just think ... God took the power of words from Zechariah because he didn't use them for good!  And now you will be silent and not able to speak until the day this happens, because you did not believe my words, which will come true at their appointed time. (Luke 1:20)  AND Ezekiel 3:26 says I will make your tongue stick to the roof of your mouth so that you will be silent and unable to rebuke them, for they are a rebellious people.  If we have the opportunity to use our words for good but don't use them at all, that's just as bad as using them for evil. (same concept as "lying" includes omitting pieces of the truth) Even if your "words" are written with ink on a paper, if you're encouraging, God's happy. It's not our job to criticize others, it's our job to love them. Whether they are five years old and the most defiant one in your classroom, or they are an adult and someone whose company you cherish, find something they do well and tell them. God doesn't want able people, He will make the willing more than capable.

I challenge you to give a compliment this week. Humble yourself and obey God and SPEAK.

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Own it... OWN YOU!

So often I am afraid of really being me. I omit things that could potentially lead to being made fun of or thought of "differently". A question I am beginning to ask myself is: "Why not be different?" Why should I hide what truly makes me happy just so that I can have a mediocre time with mediocre people who live mediocre lives for fear of being different? Well my answer is, I shouldn't. And not only that, but I'm not going to do it anymore. If I enjoy watching children's animated movies as a twenty-something year old because there is a hint of adult humor and life lessons hidden in music and cartoon characters, then I should own it! Especially because if I do enjoy this and decide to surround myself with those who turn their noses at this, then will I ever experience something that brings me genuine happiness? NO. I will get to experience mediocrity, and I wasn't born to live out a mediocre life.

Romans 12:2 says, "Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will." (NIV)

Let's break it down.
Do not conform to the pattern of this world- I know the first thing that comes to mind is to not follow worldly patterns that are sinful. But let's think beyond the big categories that are obvious things to steer clear of. Let's think day-to-day stuff. Like watching, enjoying, and appreciating Disney movies. Or how about OWNING my teaching style. As I had to [painfully] video tape myself and watch it (with my mentor) in order to better my teaching, we answered reflection questions and I was honestly embarrassed. I felt as if watching this tape from the outside looking in was chaotic. 10 kids sprawled out on the carpet, the other 10 at their desks. We were learning about math mountains, partners of a number, and addition. Everyone was engaged, but no one was sitting criss-cross-applesauce or in their chair. Embarrassed. But my mentor looked at me and explained that she was watching what worked for my class and to own it. Clear routines and transitions were in place, even if it wasn't "traditional". Why should I conform to the pattern of the teaching world of having my whole class sit on the carpet and get 10% of what I'm trying to teach when it's proven to be beneficial to split them up, let them stretch out, talk to partners, and actually understand 80% or more of what I'm teaching? I shouldn't. I should own it. I am owning it. I am proud of what a "crowd-control" vision has evolved into.

Be transformed by the renewing of your mind- this goes hand in hand with not conforming. Let me explain to you the joy I've found since beginning to OWN IT. I went to grab coffee/cheesecake with a new friend who I look up to greatly and absolutely adore. Owning the fact of loving Disney movies, the Lord, volleyball, and cheesecake led to a wonderful meetup where we lost track of time and just truly enjoyed each other's company. Had I been afraid to really be me, I would have missed out on so much. My mind was renewed because my heart was allowed to be free.

Then you will be able to test and approve God's good, pleasing and perfect will- Hey guess what! God gave me desires that make both He and myself happy. So liking Disney movies is okay with Him. And choosing to try and reach all of my students in a non-traditional way is also okay with Him. Which must mean God's will for me is to not try and hide what I enjoy if it is not sinful. It also must mean that God's perfect will for my life does not mean that I am to be perfect, it means I am to look towards the One who is. So often we think of asking for the BIG things and brush off the "small" ones. Who chooses what is big and small anyways? I was driving the other day from my parents house to mine with my niece who was just so exhausted all she could do was cry. As we were driving back to my house, I prayed to the Lord to just give her peace of mind and let her rest. Before we were out of my parent's driveway, she was asleep. When we arrived at my place, she couldn't even wake up enough to help me unbuckle her. How often have I been frustrated with something I consider to be small instead of just asking God for peace and patience? (too often is the answer to that question)

I am challenging you (and me) to really own who you are! If you love to do something that is against the norm but isn't harmful to you physically, spiritually, and emotionally, then own it. Don't be afraid to be a little different because you never know who else is afraid to show it. And once you own it, others will own it, and then you will have others to enjoy this "different" thing with, and then it isn't all so different after all. All that you do, do for the glory of God. Watch a movie you like - and own it. Keep your students safe, but teach them in a completely different manner - and own it. Play the saxophone when you're bored - and own it. Write a blog about whatever God places on your heart - and own it. Own it all ... OWN YOU!

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WORD!

Just a little something to think about ...

An "ah-ha" moment for me has to do with promises. A couple of weeks ago, a dear friend mentioned that we are to speak God's promises through our prayers. Along with an amazing conference, a few motivating podcasts, some in depth devotionals, and talking with more than admirable people, I came to the realization that the Bible is God's word. Ok, let me state that again ... the Bible is God's WORD. Get it? Let me put it into context for you the way I had my ah-ha moment. Do we have any reason to doubt God? My roommates in college had every reason to doubt me when I told them I was baking cookies. It never failed that every single time I turned the oven on, I burned them. I don't mean just a little bit, I mean scrape them from the cookie sheet (maybe even throw the sheet away too) burned them. They had every reason to not want me to bake cookies, even if I promised to do my best the next time. God gave us His word, His promises, the Bible, to guide us through every nook and cranny of this thing we call "life". He gave us His word. He promised to take care of us, even when we think we've got it all under control. He gave us the Bible! HE GAVE US HIS WORD! Do you get it now? Yes He wants to give us the desires of our heart (Psalm 37:4), but when we are so busy getting to know our savior, our heart longs for the same things He wants to give us. His word, the Bible, promises to guide us through life. Thank God, you gave us your word!

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Read the Bible FOR a year.

    I've never been one to look forward to sitting down each day and enjoying quiet time reading through the word. I think it may be for the simple fact that every plan I tried was just over my head and not really relevant, therefore I was not interested. I met with a dear friend a few weeks ago and she said "I'm not here to tell you this and that are wrong, because you know that. And even if you have the knowledge that something isn't the way it should be, Satan knows too. Satan does this thing to God's people, where he knows what is right and wrong and does everything he can to pull you away from what is right. One way to fight the devil off is to know that the Bible is full of people just like you and me - people who make mistakes. The people in the Bible find a way to set their eyes on God in the end no matter how far away they were pulled. Reading God's word is supposed to be engrained in your brain so that you have the ability to say STOP, I know there is hope because the word tells me so." Well, I left the conversation feeling great and overwhelmed at the same time. Figuring out another reading plan? That's where I fail every time. Two days later I was at church and the pastor talks about his reading plan and it was eye opening and very do-able.
     Reading the entire Bible in 365 days would give me what? Probably a certificate because it wouldn't sink in for me. Reading the Bible FOR 365 gives me what? Knowledge, power, grace, hope, confidence. I shouldn't be reading a plan that isn't relevant to my life and experiences, I should be reading the word that is designed to help me fight off the devil when he tries to pull me away from God. Pastor Brian gave us his plan and every single day I honestly can't wait to get home and open up my bible and write down how relevant it is to my life. So here it is:
Start with prayer (thank God for all He is and has done, speak wants and desires into practice, ask Him to speak through the words you are about to read, amen)
Read a part of all 4 sections every time--

Psalms (They don't have to be new ones every day, they should be something your heart connects with. Stick with a few favorites and get to know them inside and out.)

Proverbs (There are 31 of these meant for each day of the month, if today is the 8th, read Proverbs 8. You will get to read each one approximately 12 times over a year.)

The Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, John ... These guys tell some of the same stories from different viewpoints. Search for a heading that's relevant and really apply it to your life.)

The Epistles (GEPC- Galations, Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians. Yes there are more epistles, but start with these four and really learn what the church and what children of God are meant to be.)

Then you pray, pray, pray.

Reading the word this way is so relevant to my life and experiences and even if I'm not able to quote exactly where a verse comes from every single time, I'll be able to fight the devil by telling him I know the truth.

I'm not saying this is everyone's plan, but it's mine right now and it seems to have taken the overwhelming frustration out of my reading of the word, so I'm going to keep on learning. I don't want a certificate, I want a relationship.

We are all in the world, but let's really come together as children of God and let's not BE IN THE WORLD, let's be salt and light!

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