"that kid"

To my teacher friends, 

Take a minute and think about "that kid". You know, the one who grinds your gears because he refuses to try. What about the boy who is defiant and thinks it's funny? How about the girl who is just (for a lack of better words) plain mean? Yeah, "that kid" (let's be real ... this is a plural thing -- KIDS) These are the tiny humans that make me want to cry during the day and the voices I hear as I'm restless and trying to go to sleep each night. Describe them in one word -- no adjectives please! Describe them in one NOUN. Girl would be one. Boy could be another. Person is a definite. Human is a good one. And what do humans have? Feelings? Wants? Needs? Oftentimes, when our wants/needs aren't being met, our feelings are portrayed the only way we know how. What about the parent that honestly scares you with their not-so-timid personality? I'll be honest and let you know I've found myself taking my "your parent hurt my feelings" out on a student/a part of my family/a human being. People are also notorious for making mistakes, so when I was conscious of the fact I was getting irritated with the child for something beyond their control, my attitude changed. I started intentionally calling on him for positive things and soon the other children in the class saw him in a different light and then he began to bloom. I'm struggling though. Defiance gets to me like no other! I'm so frustrated ... because I care! I guess I should be more worried if it didn't effect me at all.

My first go-to when I'm feeling frustrated is "patience". While patience is good, and very much needed, there's got to be something more. Galatians 6:9 says, "And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up."  Basically, as hard as it is to point out the good in the most frustrating moments, who's to say they won't eventually get it? Get what? The seed you are planting, that's what. You know what's really humbling? Apologizing to a five-year-old. Sitting on my knees, I sat eye to eye with a defiant little human, who also has feelings. It's my responsibility to show God's love and ask for his guidance (and yes, patience) in trialing times. It's also my responsibility to thank God for the good times.  And when you think about it, those hard times make the great times so much sweeter.

You were chosen.  You were chosen by God almighty to love on little people. They will get the academic stuff (or they won't), but they'll really get how you make them feel (good and bad). I challenge you to pray over "those kids" and I challenge you to make them feel good before they go home. A simple "bye, love you, see you tomorrow" as they're stepping on the bus. A comment about their really cool shirt (because sometimes compliments are a stretch if we're being real). A high five for the 5 seconds they were on task. We can't begin to put ourselves in their shoes for many reasons, but we can choose to either leave the laces untied, or tie them neatly for the .5 seconds until they're falling down again. I challenge you to see the good in every hard situation and I challenge you to really rely on God for the strength we need when we are weary.

Chris Tomlin's song, Everlasting God, says: You're the defender of the weak, You comfort those in need, You lift us up on wings like eagles.... because You do not grow weak or weary ... BECAUSE HE DOES NOT GROW WEAK OR WEARY ... because we are teachers, we are conquerors, we are children of God, we are human, and we do grow weak and weary because we care. Fully rely on our God above, because He's strong.


Sincerely,
your teacher friend in Christ who's feeling the end of the year struggles

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Beauty is in the eye of the beholder ...

other than hanging from a tree in Atlanta and white water rafting in West Virginia ... all of the other pictures were taken in the beautiful state of North Carolina! (and I am mildly obsessed with the NC "home." decals right now)

     If you weren't hiding under the "patience is a virtue" rock, hopefully you aren't hiding under the "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" rock either... BUT if you are, go ahead and come on out!  Anything that has to do with the outdoors or with nature is a pretty sure way straight to my heart. One of my other weaknesses? Something different, or special. Every sunset is beautiful in it's own way because each one is different.  I grew up with my father's love for the outdoors. From fishing, camping, and hiking at the beaches or in the mountains of North Carolina, to white water rafting in West Virginia or lake trips to the mountains of Virginia, my dad was the one who spoiled me with showing me God's unique masterpieces in nature. My mom still tells me to this day that when I was little, I refused to wear dresses that did not allow me to climb trees. I've always loved the very special sounds, smells, and feels that add to the beautiful sights for as long as I can remember. Special, different, and unique makes something beautiful to me.
     For the longest time, my dream was to be a special education teacher. My heart will always have a special place for those who are what we would call "different" or "special".  Now that I look at it, I have 20 very different from each other kiddos in my regular education classroom. Each of my students has their own special needs. Whether their need is for a daily hug or they need me to make sure they get extra sight word practice, each of my babes have their own unique, special, and different needs -- and for that I am grateful.  While my kiddos have my heart, there will always be a special place for those whose every need is "special".
     I had the opportunity to work on an 89 acre farm where the first of several group homes for adults with disabilities is located. Oh. My. Gosh. While many people close their eyes and see the Bahamas or some other far away land, this is my happy place. I felt the warm air blowing the dirt into my face, I smelled the wonderful scent of manure-compost mixed topsoil, I saw land that stretched on and on and on, and I heard laughter and singing from people who didn't think twice about what others thought, they were having fun -- and this, this is my happy place. Every Saturday morning, people have the opportunity to volunteer on this self-sustained farm, and afterwards they share a potluck lunch. While the first couple of hours of my day was spent shoveling dirt into a wheelbarrow and dumping the wheelbarrow into raised flowerbeds, I was thankful that God had created such a beautiful process (the growing process that is). My second hour and a half included evening out gravel on the side of the driveway so that when it rains, people can still park and it not be muddy. And for this I was thankful for strong men who did the shoveling of gravel into the wheelbarrows so that I could spend time spreading it all out. One of my absolute favorite parts of the day was the fact that everyone voluntarily gave their time to come out and enjoy God's beautiful work AND everyone came with the knowledge that "special needs" just means "different needs". No one was critical, no one laughed AT each other, no one made fun or got frustrated ... everyone looked out for each other, and that--to me--is beautiful.

Colossians 1:16 says, "For by Him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities -- all things were created through Him and for Him."

"...all things were created through him and for him."

     God didn't create these beautiful things for him to look at and admire his own handy-work. Nor did He create them for us to admire selfishly. He created earth and everything on it with His very hands so beautifully and precisely so that He could share it with us. He gave me the ability to move dirt to a wheelbarrow and into a garden. He gave me the physical strength to level out gravel.  He gave me a heart that loves Him first and foremost and that holds a special place for special people. He gave me the desire to spend time admiring the sight, smells, sounds, and feels of nature. All things were created through and by God himself and for Him ... and I am very thankful He shares with us His masterpiece.

     What do you see beauty in? In picking strawberries? In tubing behind a boat on the lake? In white water rafting on a river in West Virginia? In hanging upside down from a tree in the zoo of Atlanta? In loving your family on the beach? In standing at the top of a mountain after a 3 mile hike upwards? In working for hours on a farm with the most carefree people in the world? I challenge you to find where you see beauty and thank God for it. I also challenge you to soak in as much of it as you can!

 

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Patience is a virtue

If you haven't heard the saying, "Patience is a virtue", please come out from under the rock you've been hiding under. If we replace "virtue" with synonyms, we might have phrases like: Patience is ethical. Patience is moral. Patience is righteous. Patience is worthy. Patience is respectable. Patience is honor. Patience is simply ... good. So why is it easy to have patience with certain things and harder with others? I had a friend recently say, "Why can't we be content where Jesus has us right now? I hate that we do that!", and how true are her words? (too true.)  Our conversation led to talking about dreams and goals and wants and desires and she ended up saying something that really resonated with me: "There's a fine line between dreams He puts there and becoming unsatisfied with where we are." So I did what I should have been more consistent about doing and I picked up my Promise Book and the first page I turned to said: WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU NEED ... PATIENCE. And then I just knew God must've been with His palm on His forehead, because He has promised me the exact thing I am struggling with.

I need the most patience when I want something. Things I need, God never fails to deliver ... but things I want are a different story. Garth Brooks sings it best when he says "some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers" because more times than not, I am thanking God for knowing the difference between what I needed and what I wanted. And it always seems to me that the more I want something, the more patience I need, but I must be actively waiting. [insert some sort of transition here ... maybe a pick up line because they're my favorite? Okay, here goes ... You put the "stud" in Bible study. Yep, that just happened. On we go ......]

I love to write, thus I love taking notes. (mind you, most of my notes are pictures and bubble letters, but a visual learner has to do whatcha gotta do!) Anywho, the young adults group at church did a series this past summer where "actively waiting" was one of the biggest things that grasped a hold of me. Just a little background knowledge, I date all of my notes and I underline and date the scripture in the Bible that my notes refer to. So when I look at the notes from August 7th, 2014 and see we were talking about Psalm 37:4, and then I look in my Bible at Psalm 37, I see the 8/7/14 date along with a 2/9/14 date. So now I look in my notes at February 9th, 2014 and compare the August notes to the February notes and then the cycle just goes on and on and on. Well, that being said ... at the top of the page of my 8/7/14 notes, highlighted and in capital letters I wrote WAITING IS ESSENTIAL and bulleted 3 main points I would like to share with you because I feel like this is what I needed to re-read while facing my battle with patience.

(1)Waiting on God is an active thing! When we settle, we miss God's best for us.

(2)Waiting on God is a sign that He loves us very much! This is the time we should be asking ourselves, "What does God want to grow in me while I am waiting?"

(3)We are not waiting alone! Waiting builds our faith. 

When I look at Psalm 37 and see the date 2/9/14, the notes for February 9th say: "God created you needy on purpose."  As humans, we automatically want to be defensive and say that we are not needy, but in all reality our heart is the biggest need of our life (also in my notes!). We want unconditional love, to be valued, happiness, freedom, purpose, and hope. God created us with all of these needs so that they could be met. Now I didn't say God created us with all of these needs so that they could be met on our time... I said that He created us with wants and needs and desires and goals and dreams so that when His timing is right and when our desires line up with His plan for our lives, our needs will be met. I struggle with patience not because I want something, but because I want something instantly. Patience takes time, and with time all things are better. I can cook instant mashed potatoes in a solid 90 seconds flat, and they are alright, but if I take my time and mash real potatoes and go through all 50 million steps, my potatoes won't be just alright, they will be FREAKING AWESOME! Why should we want an "alright" life when we have been promised a FREAKING AWESOME life? God will give us what we want and what we need when our wants/needs fall into His grandeur plan for our FREAKING AWESOME lives. (apparently He's not a huge fan on instant potatoes when He knows the real deal is so much better)

I am praying for patience. I am praying for guidance. I am praying for God's will to be done in my life. I have been challenged to do this, and I'm passing the challenge onto you. I challenge us to look in Bible when we want something and find where God promised it to us. If it's not in His word, then maybe that's not part of His plan, but if it is, then He's already promised it to us and we can speak it into being in His perfect timing through prayer. I challenge you to pray, to be patient, and to listen. I challenge you to take a deep breath, pick the potatoes, and hand them over to the man upstairs to clean them, boil them, mash them, season them, and serve them ... because I promise you as hard as it may be to wait, He's the best chef in town.

If we change the "patience is a virtue" saying around to use synonyms for the word patience, we get: Self-restraint is a virtue. Understanding is a virtue. Calmness is a virtue. You didn't know that when you said that common four word phrase that you were really saying a lot more than four little words, did you? I'll leave you with my absolute favorite pick-up line (because if someone actually used it on me my response would be "Yes, I will marry you") ... I was looking through the book of numbers, and I realized I didn't have yours!

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